So what????

Tuesdays and Thursdays..... God knows how much I hate that....And hate this feeling of being sick of this boring routine,everyday,over and over.....Don't have much choice since the doctor told me that this routine is what keeps me safe from having other episodes....Can not say I enjoy it,though.If I think deep,I guess I should enjoy even less being where I was some years ago,when I was maniac,but the truth is that being up there is soooooooooo much cooler.....if I didn't know the risks I take everytime I'm that high,I would go there again and again....It's just that keep myself healthy is so hard.So boring.Hope tomorrow I feel better about all this,I have to tell myself that,tell myself how happy I am to have all I have,otherwise people will do it anyway...."I wish I was that happy..." "I wish I had the life you have"..."Your apartment is so nice"..."Your husband is so perfect" ...yeah,indeed... and yet,I wish I had something else.Don't ask me what.Sometimes I wish I had more fun,more friends around.... sometimes I don't know what is this that I seek....sometimes I know exactly what it is.....Crazy....Can't even talk about it,nobody gets it anyway.... I don't get it.Maybe I'll never get it.Right now,just feel like screaming and running away....Feel like forgetting who I am....forgetting everything that reminds me about myself....EVERYTHING! Essa letra é do Linkin Park.Nunca ouvi a música,tô tentando baixar....mas a letra é simplesmente perfeita pra descrever isso tudo..... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ She can't hide no matter how hard she tries Her secret diguise behind the lies And at night she cries away her pride With eyes shut tight Starin' at her inside All her friends know why she can't sleep at night All her family askin' if she's alright All she wants to do is get rid of this hell Well all shes gotta do is stop kidding herself She can only fool herself for so long She can only fool herself for so long She can only fool herself for so long (im too weak to face me) She can only fool herself